sometimes things are just so much harder then you want them to be. and it feels like your whole world is blowing up into a million pieces. and you are the kind of person who likes happy endings. and a plan. and resolution. and you want to fix everything for everyone and have everyone agree and be peaceful and happy. and you are trying to do your work, and have some fun, and change. but not change away from your true self and what matters to you. just make the changes you can make. and do some praying. and raise your kids up right. because they didn't send you a note from the great beyond asking to be born. they didn't say, "hey will you please take me out to a nice restaurant on the day i am sick, and over tired, and getting my molars in? please?" they didn't ask the guy pushing his chair back to trip them so they got a bruised face and bloody lip. and the tantrum that ensues it so out of their control and they are just so exhausted and hurting they are losing their little minds. and then it feels suddenly like the whole family is blowing to bits and you are sitting in your car listening to everyone cry. everyone. and thinking, "please help me. help me. help me." and by the time you get home it is like a prayer. "oh universe please help me. help me. help me. i feel i cannot do it. i need to do it. please help me. i need help."
and what i want to say is, "why is this so hard for us?!?" and why is it so much easier for everyone else? where is our ease? please universe, please please send us some ease. some grace. some contentment with each other. we need some help here. i am calling out to all our guides and spirits and support and god and everyone. we need help. help help help. we need a little ease here. please please bless us with a moment of ease. and some slight shift towards seeing each other again. instead of just building up and knocking down walls.
i. am. calling. out. to. the. universe. for. help. for. US.
my intention is to send the message out so clearly and then to say, thank you. thank you for sending the help. thank you for holding us and helping us. and granting us our love and our life. thank you.
Today I turn 40.
1 week ago